Yes, I do work in a hive. It's the university study area. There is a real beehive outside, to inspire the students in their selfless dedication to the welfare of the colony. My job is to supervise it, which mostly consists of telling students to keep the noise down, their feet off the furniture, and to leave, if they get out of control.
Occasionally there is a bit more drama, I was threatened by some non-students who had managed to get in once, and a couple of days ago somebody stole the cashbox from one of the vending machines.
But today, much more significant events are unfolding. Today, a couple of big guys arrived with a new vending machine on a little trollyjack. They took out the old machine, which had vended, very occasionally, plastic cups of fruit squash. They then pushed the new machine into place, revealing the type of goods it would dispense. And just take a guess what it is...
PORRIDGE! Can you Adam and Eve it? My friend Debbie thinks I'm the luckiest person alive, and now I think my good fortune is complete! My mouth began to water immediately. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the sort to toil over oats and water first thing in the morning. But I can just imagine how sweet and sickly the Oats So Simple pumped product will be.
Unfortunately the machine doesn't work. The guys are still here, working hard, by telephoning people mostly, trying to fix it. Will it be here, dispensing fresh hot sticky goo the next time I work here? Watch this space.
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